it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
