In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
