Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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