I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
