At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
