franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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