Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
