I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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