when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
