i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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