what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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