its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
