So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
