I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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