can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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