never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
