I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
