MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
