Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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