she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
