i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
