She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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