When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
