I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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