in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my shit smells like andre
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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