singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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