We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
