you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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