I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
