OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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