Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
no, he came in my armpit
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
