Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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