so that wasnt chicken after all
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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