i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
