Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
