dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Two words: blizzard sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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