I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
