Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
