I'm lost and stupid without you.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
