I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
