Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
