as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Terrible idea I love it
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
