we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
