Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
