4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I want to be your penis for a week.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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