I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
