Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
