just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Boobs speak an international language.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
