This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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