i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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