just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
